Someplace on the market, maybe in a wholly alternate universe, there’s a reality present based mostly on crypto that doesn’t make you need to scratch your eyes out and gag as quickly as you flip it on.
Sadly, to this point all we have now is 2 Shark Tank discount bin rip-offs not match for air, and it is advisable to keep away from them.
Fortunately for you, Protos is right here to speak about The Subsequent Crypto Gem and Killerwhales so that you don’t need to trouble watching them.
The following (very well-hidden) crypto gem
The Subsequent Crypto Gem, created by the team behind such hits as Magnificence and the Boss (?) and Reality of Love (??), billed itself as a crypto model of Shark Tank meets The Apprentice and featured three controversial judges — Layah Heilpern, George Tung, and Brian Evans. The trio have principally made cash by advertising cryptocurrencies and being social media influencers.
The fundamental idea is {that a} bunch of initiatives compete for a US greenback money prize — one thing all of them desperately want.
According to a CoinDesk article, the present was imagined to be accessible for Amazon Prime customers however doesn’t seem on the platform. You possibly can, nonetheless, discover it on George Tung’s (aka ‘CryptosRUs’) private YouTube channel, the place the enhancing staff by accident left in a break for commercials that fairly actually simply says “Break.” Clearly, manufacturing worth is excessive on the agenda for Crypto Gem.
When requested what he hoped the present would offer for its viewers, director Justin Bellow mentioned, “Folks can lastly get educated about what cryptocurrency is,” including, “I believe as soon as sufficient individuals study in regards to the business they’ll be a little bit bit extra inclined to need to participate in it… as a result of a lot of the information you hear about crypto is unfavourable.”
Spoiler alert: it doesn’t accomplish any of this.
As a substitute, The Subsequent Crypto Gem is an embarrassing exposé of a handful of dangerous cryptocurrency initiatives being judged by three individuals who know nothing about beginning a enterprise from the bottom up.
The judges spend time arguing, however any variations between these poorly thought-out initiatives can be imperceptible to anybody in anyway: they’re all bullshit!
Killerwhales’ killer fails
Subsequent up is Shark Tank-like reality present Killerwhales, which options each poisonous crypto influencer you by no means wished to listen to from once more. In an unlimited set, serial scammer Mario Nawfal, pump and dumper Ran Neuner, SBF bestie Anthony Scaramucci, and plenty of equally atrocious ‘influencers’ sit on huge leather-based chairs and choose contestants who convey to the desk such ground-shaking improvements as “reimagining water” and “the artwork of recycling.”
The trailer shows the judges spewing throwaway strains, many fairly actually ripped from Shark Tank (as an illustration, “For that purpose I’m out”), contestants suggesting “if we fail, the world is f*cked,” and, in fact, individuals getting upset and excited.
Sadly, once more, the present does nothing to assist clarify what crypto is or why it’s necessary. It fails to elucidate why the judges they’ve chosen are the tumors of the business they’re pretending to talk on behalf of.
Learn extra: The rise of the crypto influencer and the fall of truth
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As a substitute of continuous to do Shark Tank-style pitch-a-thons it would behoove the crypto business to provide a distinct type of present subsequent time they’re seeking to create a success that places eyeballs on Bitcoin, blockchain, and crypto generally.
Maybe a To Catch a Predator-like present the place a Chris Hanson-esque host brings cryptocurrency entrepreneurs to a home the place they’re supplied half one million in laundered cash. After they present up, they’re met by a few cops who calmly say, “Sit down. What was on the agenda for tonight?”
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